A Dummydemic!

Screw the Swine Virus! The dummy virus is more dangerous and rampant! BEWARE! BEWARE!

I've gotten many an email and call about other dummies out there. They are EVERYWHERE! And from the research I've done through the CDC, there is no vaccine for this pandemic so use caution when approaching these sick individuals. As new symptoms present, I will be sure to alert you through this blog, but here are a few key signs that may help you avoid this plague:

The Blank Stare

I find when I look THE dummy in the eyes, there is a vacant stare. I figure it is because she lacks a soul, along with a brain, so when I peer at her pupils, I see straight to the back of her skull. Then, I did some research and looked up other dummies on the Internet - Speidi and the kids from The Hills, the Caribou Barbie, Miss California, etc. I found the same blank stare! AHA - definitely a symptom.

The Pass-The-Buck-Chuck Tick

Since dummies can't seem to do anything themselves, they often try to pass along their work and/or blame to someone else. Example:

My sister has a dummy at work. Well HAD a dummy at work - she was fired (if we could all be so lucky that our dummies get fired). This particular dummy, who I will call Medical Office dummy (or MO dummy for short) has the common dummy "pass-the-buck-chuck" symptom. (THE dummy has this - really bad, by the way.)

Anywho, MO dummy's only responsibility at work was to code surgical procedures so they could get scheduled. Easy enough... or not. After many clients were getting rejected by the insurance company, rather than doing some research on why this was happening, she complained to the doctor on how difficult the insurance company was. Never once did she think perhaps something she was doing was wrong. So after ranting about the insurance company, the doctor finally said "you are using the wrong code, ya dummy!" Now, he may not have said "ya dummy" out loud but surely, he was thinking it. Luckily, because this employer doesn't reward dummy behavior with continued employment, she was let go. However, on her way out, she insisted still it wasn't her fault because the "doctor never told me how to do it." Really, ya dummy?

"I'm So Busy" Delusions

Why do dummies think they work so much harder than everyone else? Well, it's because the sickness causes delusions. Example:

THE dummy, after asking me to do a lot of her crap and me responding that I didn't have time, proceeded to tell me how busy she was working on all of her stuff and that she's been in the office since 10am (it was around 1pm when she emailed me) implying that I should take it easy on her (aka - do her work). Really, ya dummy? I'm sorry that you had to be up at the butt crack of mid-morning to work, you poor thing.

And there you have 3 signs of this dummydemic. Stay vigilant my friends.